The Marvel Studios Emergency Meeting After Superman’s Success

James Gunn’s Superman has soared to an unexpected $426 million worldwide and counting, earning near-universal critical acclaim and reminding audiences that DC movies used to make money. Meanwhile, Marvel Studios faces its most challenging year yet, with disappointing box office returns and growing franchise fatigue following a string of underwhelming releases. Industry insiders suggest the studio’s entire future may hinge on the success of The Fantastic Four: First Steps. A property that could either revitalize the MCU or signal the end of an era still claiming to be in its…first steps.

The imaginary stakes have never been higher. And according to sources, Kevin Feige has called an emergency meeting with his top creative executives. Fortunately, our crack team at InBetweenDrafts (me) has gained exclusive access without permission.

CLASSIFIED TRANSCRIPT – MARVEL STUDIOS WAR ROOM Location: Undisclosed bunker beneath Disneyland Hong Kong. Date: [REDACTED] Attendees: Kevin Feige, Russo Brothers, Taika Waititi, Ryan Coogler, Jon Favreau (hologram), Chloe Zhao, Peyton Reed

KEVIN FEIGE: [Slides a tablet across the table showing Superman‘s box office numbers] Gentlemen. Lady. We have a problem. James Gunn just made Superman cool again, and I don’t think we can Deadpool and Wolverine our way out of this. In other words, the very thing we feared happening in 2013 has finally happened.

ANTHONY RUSSO: Kevin, you’re spiraling. You’ve been refreshing Rotten Tomatoes every thirty seconds for the past hour.

JOE RUSSO: Also, weren’t you the one who said “We need to take more risks” after Endgame? And then we made a movie about immortal gods having relationship problems?

KEVIN FEIGE: [Sighs] Eternals…Look, Chloe, your movie was beautiful. It was like…art or something.

CHLOE ZHAO: Thank you, Kevin.

KEVIN FEIGE: But art doesn’t sell Happy Meals.

CHLOE ZHAO: [Quietly] I knew I should have put a talking animal in it.

TAIKA WAITITI: [Lounging in chair] You know what your problem is, Kev? You stopped being weird in the right way. Thor: Love and Thunder was weird, but it was “divorced dad at Burning Man” weird.

RYAN COOGLER: Taika’s got a point, even though he’s bringing up a problem he caused. Anyway, we’ve been so focused on building this multiverse thing that we forgot to build characters people actually care about.

PEYTON REED: [Defensive] Hey, people care about Ant-Man! He’s…he’s very relatable. He’s just like every other ex-con guy who can shrink down and control ants while battling quantum physics!

EVERYONE: [Stares]

PEYTON REED: [Deflated] Okay, I hear it now.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Paces] The problem is James Gunn remembered that Superman is supposed to be hopeful or something. Meanwhile, we’ve got a multiverse where everyone’s either traumatized, having an identity crisis, or both. We’ve even got Doctor Strange having anxiety attacks about the multiverse, and honestly, same.

JON FAVREAU: [Via hologram from his ranch] Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, remember when we made the first Iron Man? Shoot. We didn’t know what we were doing! We were just a couple of kids in their 40s literally rewriting the script during filming. But we knew Tony Stark was a guy who learned to be better. And that Robert Downey Jr. didn’t have any other calls coming in.

KEVIN FEIGE: Jon, you’re breaking up. Also, why are you calling from what appears to be Tatooine?

JON FAVREAU: [Adjusts camera] Sorry, I’m on set. We’re shooting Mandalorian Season 47. But my point stands. Kevin, we used to make movies about people becoming heroes. Now we make TV shows people don’t watch.

ANTHONY RUSSO: I told you never to mention TV shows to me ever again…

JOE RUSSO: Anthony, calm down! Breathe into this bag.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Dramatically] Gentlemen, Chole, I’ve been thinking. What if…what if we just made good movies again?

TAIKA WAITITI: [Drops imaginary mic] What I been sayin’ ever since I made a bad movie.

KEVIN FEIGE: I’m serious. Ryan, you tend to make good movies every time you try. How?

RYAN COOGLER: Well, Kevin, people connect with stories that feel important to them. And multiverses aren’t stories.

CHLOE ZHAO: Hey, whatever happened to that Harry Styles character you made me—

PEYTON REED: [Desperately] A fourth Ant-Man movie, then! We just need a gimmick, that’s what Paul Rudd has been missing!

KEVIN FEIGE: [Pulls up a whiteboard] Okay, new strategy. We’re going back to basics. Rule number one: Every movie needs to work as a standalone story. I don’t want a single pitch connected to seventeen other movies and a Disney+ series about a character’s pet goldfish.

TAIKA WAITITI: Are we actually making a series about a pet goldfish? ‘Cause I always wanted to voice a goldfish.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Pause] We…we were considering it. But that’s exactly the problem! We’ve been so focused on content that we forgot about story.

ANTHONY RUSSO: What about the multiverse stuff? Are we just abandoning that? It’s been four years, we were only just getting started.

KEVIN FEIGE: Anthony, please! Use your brain. The multiverse is a tool, not a crutch. Gunn didn’t need multiversal Superman variants to tell a Superman story. He just needed Superman to be Superman.

JOE RUSSO: So you’re saying we should make our heroes…heroic?

KEVIN FEIGE: [Snaps fingers] Exactly! When did we decide that being earnest was embarrassing? Gunn made a movie where Superman saves a squirrel, and it’s the most powerful moment in cinema this year!

RYAN COOGLER: [Stands up] You really didn’t watch Sinners, did you?

JON FAVREAU: Listen, I can CGI a squirrel into literally any scene. I have seventeen teams on standby.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Horrified] Jon, that’s exactly the problem! We’ve been trying to solve everything with CGI before we even have a script! And Ryan, I’m sorry. I want to watch Sinners pretty badly, but HBO Max has ads, now…To make up for it, I’ll let you do a Black Panther movie that doesn’t have Namor in it.

RYAN COOGLER: I’m in. But I want to do a story where the stakes are personal. No infinity stones, no multiversal cameos. Just a hero trying to save the people they love. Also, vampires. We still have Mahershala Ali on retainer?

CHLOE ZHAO: I’d like to do a small-scale story too. Maybe about a hero discovering their powers in a real-world setting. That’s never been done before, after all.

TAIKA WAITITI: [Raises hand] Can I make a movie that’s actually fun again? I’m actually asking. I’m not sure if I can…

KEVIN FEIGE: [Getting excited] Yes! Yes to all of this! Peyton, what about you?

PEYTON REED: [Brightening] Could I…could I make an Ant-Man movie where no one says the word “quantum” at any point?

KEVIN FEIGE: [Emotional] That’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said.

JON FAVREAU: [Still on hologram] Kevin, you’re crying.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Wiping eyes] It’s just…it’s been so long since we talked about making movies for longer than five minutes. And no one has even mentioned a “phase.”

ANTHONY RUSSO: So…what’s the plan?

KEVIN FEIGE: [Writes on whiteboard] Operation Save the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Phase one: Remember that heroes should be heroes. Phase two: Tell risky stories that matter to people, even if they don’t matter to everyone. And finally, Phase three: [Pauses] Trust our directors to make good movies instead of expensive commercials for the next movie.

TAIKA WAITITI: [Stands up] I’m going to make a movie so full of hope and joy and budget that James Gunn hires me to betray all of you for a job at DC.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Suddenly serious] There’s one more thing. We need to remember that we’re not just making movies for fans. We’re making movies for eight-year-olds who want to believe they can be heroes, and for adults who need to remember what that felt like.

CHLOE ZHAO: [Quietly] That’s actually beautiful, Kevin. I’m shocked.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Embarrassed] Yeah, well…I blame Gunn. We never should have forced him to put Adam Warlock in his third Guardians movie.

ANTHONY RUSSO: [Whispers] But the synergy…

KEVIN FEIGE: [Firmly] The synergy can wait. We’re hemorrhaging cultural relevance, at least from what I can tell on Letterboxd and that Seth Rogen show where he’s the head of a studio.

JOE RUSSO: So we’re really doing this? We’re going to make earnest superhero movies again? Because technically, I just looked at the assembly cut for the new Fantastic Four, and that movie—

KEVIN FEIGE: Spoilers, Joe. For now, let’s just say we’re going to make movies that make people feel the way they felt when they first saw Iron Man and said, “Hey, this is actually a film with like a message and a fun plot and stuff. Can’t wait to see what Edgar Wright might do with one of these stories.”

PEYTON REED: [Emotional] I love you guys.

TAIKA WAITITI: [Deadpan] Don’t get weird, Peyton. Leave that to me.

KEVIN FEIGE: [Stands up] Alright, everyone. Let’s go save the MCU. And remember. If anyone asks, this meeting never happened.

ANTHONY RUSSO: Wait, but then why did you invite that mild-mannered reporter from InBetweenDrafts to attend?

JON NEGRONI: [Slips off Hypno Glasses] HAHA, YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME! [Sprints for the exit]

[END TRANSCRIPT]

Note: This transcript is classified under the Disney Vault Protocol. Unauthorized distribution will result in being forced to direct a Phase 6 movie about a character we will never see onscreen again.