‘Am I OK?’ review: A paint-by-numbers coming-of-age story

Tig Notaro’s Am I OK? features some interesting moments of exploration but doesn’t always pay off what it sets ups, and vice versa.

Coming-of-age stories are not just for the teens, and Am I OK? proves that there’s no timeline to discovering yourself. The Tig Notaro and Stephanie Allynne-directed feature at times seems too simple but manages to find some room for deeper moments about friendship, sexuality, and growing up, even when you’re in your thirties. 

Best friends Lucy (Dakota Johnson) and Jane (Sonoya Mizuno) find their friendship pushed to the limits when Lucy comes out as not straight right after Jane announces she’s moving to London in six months. Now Lucy is restarting her life and explaining it to those around her, including unwanted third-wheel Kat (Molly Gordon) or Jane’s boyfriend, Danny (Jermaine Fowler). That’s on top of Lucy and Jane navigating this new development while processing being separated for the first time since they became friends.

“I’m 32, I should’ve figured this out by now.”

Lucy’s coming out story features some of the film’s better qualities. The emphasis that anyone can figure out their sexuality at any age is important. The insecurities Lucy feels about her age (she’s 32) is valid, showcased accurately in the way shots linger on Lucy in moments of awkward flirtations or quiet reflections. A particular moment when a shot cuts to Lucy sobbing in her room after failing to live up to Jane’s extrovertness when they go out to a lesbian bar is a standout. 

These moments don’t carry through the whole film, however. Some of Lucy’s insecurities established in the beginning (her hatred of the word “lesbian,” for instance) are never acknowledged again. Labels aren’t for everyone, but it is a comment that’s worthy of exploration considering the real stigma around the label.

And, beyond the initial worry of her age, once Lucy starts sleeping with women, it’s never discussed again. Her flirtations with Brittany (Kiersey Clemons), the masseuse at Lucy’s day job, is the only in depth moment of Lucy exploring her sexuality that we get. The rest are regulated to montages of dates with no discernible way of knowing how Lucy truly feels about her experience with dating women. 

Paint by numbers “coming of age” journey.

While Am I OK? hits all the usual beats of a coming-of-age story, they aren’t interesting ones. A consistent diner food order marks her stagnation in life; when Lucy changes her order by the end of the film, it’s emblematic of her growth. Yet the dialogue still needs to point this out. “Just switching things up,” Lucy tells Jane, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with ordering what you like every time. As a metaphor for Lucy’s growth, it’s too broad to stick a meaningful landing. 

The main focus point of Am I OK? is the friendship between Lucy and Jane, and that’s where the strongest emotional beats lie. The film does a fairly decent job at making the rift between Lucy and Jane palpable, plus the amount of time they are apart is long enough to have an impact. While their reconciliation hits harder as a result, their solo journeys (outside of Lucy’s coming out) leave a lot to be desired. 

Lucy works as a receptionist at a spa; once a painter, she spends most of her time at work drawing the guests and flirting with Brittany. Throughout the film, both Jane and Lucy talk about how Lucy needs to paint again, but the film leaves the reason for her quitting up to the imagination. Without understanding the specifics of her emotional turmoil at the start of the film, the moments of her self-actualization don’t live up to the catharsis they’re portraying.

Payoff without the setup and vice versa.

Jane isn’t even the first friend Lucy reconciles with. She comes out to Ben (Whitmer Thomas), the guy she was leading on while she was coming to terms with her sexuality, as part of her tour of apologies. While it’s a heartfelt scene on its own, its emphasis on Ben and Lucy’s best friendship is at odds with Ben’s screen time in the film. Considering how much importance the film places on friendships, this one could have used more fleshing out.

For Jane, her eagerness to push Lucy to experience new things and get out of her shell is exactly what best friends do. But her own emotional interior is difficult to gauge; she’s originally from London, and is excited to go back. Nothing really connects to paint a larger picture of who Jane is outside of Kat’s annoying presence and Danny as “the boyfriend.” The most egregious moment is when Danny leaves her right before they set off for London, with Jane saying she’s fine and the movie offering nothing else to show how she’s changed because of it. 

There is something touching about two friends figuring themselves out first that only reinforces their friendship later. It’s a shame that the lack of specificity in their story throughout the film leaves us with an unsatisfying ending.

The bottom line.

Ultimately, Am I OK? is a mix of set ups without the payoff and payoffs without the set ups. Johnson and Mizuno work well together as best friends and their reconciliation manages to be heartfelt without being cliche. But while their friendship is believable, their individual characters aren’t as well-rounded. It is refreshing to see a coming out story with tight dialogue for a woman in her thirties. Sadly, it abandons its interesting commentary on it too early to stick the landing.

Am I OK? is now streaming on Max. You can watch the trailer here.

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Images courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery. Read more articles by Katey Stoetzel here.