‘Borderlands’ review: A hollow husk that’s lost in space

Borderlands, the latest from director Eli Roth, is an aggressively grating, grinded-down variation of its pixelated self.

Slowly but surely, video game adaptations are evolving. We’ve seen films like Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Detective Pikachu, and last year’s Gran Turismo, inspire more confidence than outright disdain. Furthermore, on the television and streaming front, HBO’s The Last of Us, Netflix’s Castlevania, and Amazon Prime’s Fallout have proven that not only is there hope for video game adaptations on the small screen, but they can be just as good as anything else out there. And they’ve shown that maybe, just maybe, there’s a future out there where we can get decent-to-okay movies about your favorite electronic games. 

As such, while it’s not fair to say that hopes were high for Borderlands, there was a begrudging wish that perhaps the powers-that-be would figure out how to translate this popular space saga onto the silver screen. Alas, when it comes to progress, for every step forward, there will always be a few steps back. And boy, is Borderlands a step back. 

On the planet of Pandora (no, not that Pandora), Lilith (Cate Blanchett) is a red-haired, steely-eyed bounty hunter tasked with a special mission. She must rescue Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), corporate big-wig Atlas’s (Edgar Ramírez) kidnapped teenage daughter. It doesn’t take long for her to find the missing tot, and it takes even less for her to learn this teen has a mean streak, particularly when it comes to throwing explosive stuffed animals. While she’s not making friends with this deranged youngster, Lilith and Tiny Tina make the acquaintance of a few other space-based loners. Said loners include smart-mouth robot Claptrap (voiced by Jack Black, one of the movie’s few highlights), straight-laced soldier Roland (Kevin Hart), masked Krieg (Creed II’s Florian Munteanu), and, later, Lilith’s estranged foster mother and neurotic scientist, Dr. Patricia Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis).

Lost in space.

In a better movie, one could see how such acting heavyweights could play well together. But in this film’s flimsy flop-sweat, nearly everyone wanders around with such aimless dread and wayward glances that it’s hard for anyone to capture an authentic sense of zaniness, let alone anything in the realm of believable chemistry. To make up for the void of camaraderie, Borderlands overloads itself with irreverent asides and desperate stabs at winking humor, nearly all of which fall flat—except when said sad lines come out of Black’s mouth. Perhaps it’s because he’s too talented of a voice actor to make middling material not work, or perhaps because he seems like one of the actors who are eager to be in the film. Black brings a distinctive sense of personality and zest that is palpable in how starkly it stands out against the weightless air of such a defeated effort. 

Don’t sell Greenblatt short, as Tiny Tina is one of the very few characters here who feels inspired (and intentionally irksome). She sells it with an enthusiasm that’s admirable, in that it feels like she wants to be here and bring this dead film to life. Otherwise, Borderlands is vacant in star appeal. Blanchett feels completely out of her element. While it’s appealing that both she and Hart are playing against type and trying to do something different from their screen personas, neither seems invested in anything happening around them. There is a dead-eye mechanism to their work here. So much so that you have to wonder if this is some odd, meta-ish attempt at appearing like the one-and-zero versions of their video game characters. How else can you explain how such stars who usually liven the screen (either at their best or worst) can appear so completely desolate? 

A crew without a captain.

Furthermore, outside of the terrible trouble found on the screen, it doesn’t help that Borderlands is so clearly missing a clear vision behind the scenes. The film is credited to Eli Roth (Hostel), but with its sanded-down PG-13 rating, hasty editing, and extensive reshoots from Deadpool’s Tim Miller, it’s hard to know how much of the movie can even be considered his. While the director is known to produce more misses than hits, Roth proved with last year’s Thanksgiving (which, conveniently or not, he was filming when it came for said reshoots, hence Miller’s involvement) that he can channel his flippant style in the right project to delirious, mean-spirited success. Alas, no such luck here. 

Where Guardians of the Galaxy was able to show James Gunn’s progress from a cinematic prankster of the school of Troma to a bonafide blockbuster filmmaker through a spunky mix of wacky humor and warm-hearted earnestness, Borderlands is all crass and no class. It’s constantly in search of a desperate laugh or a beating pulse, to the point where the movie lacks any time to breathe or any genuine sense of momentum. It’s all quick cuts and fast-paced punning, none of which is particularly clever or amusing. It’s rare to see a summer movie that makes you long for the comparative tact of Deadpool & Wolverine (which, for the record, is 20 minutes longer). And when you long for the subtlety of Deadpool, you know you’re in deep, deep, deep space trouble. 

The bottom line.

Alas, for whatever muted expectations one might have for this Gearbox Studios release, Borderlands succumbs to even lower depths than you might initially expect. At a time when light-but-firm progress has been made in the transition from video game counsel to the big screen, Borderlands feels even worse than some of the crummiest video game adaptations of the past. There was clear potential to be gleaned from an inherent property like this. Alas, this wasteland saga is one big, galactic waste.  

Borderlands is now playing in theaters everywhere. You can watch the trailer here.

Images courtesy of Lionsgate. You can read more reviews by Will Ashton here.